I had an uh huh moment the other morning about
what it is to be ‘selfish’ and ‘self focused’. It all started with reading
another book about writing, writers and great at what I do. Yes, when I am not
writing, I am reading about being a writer or thinking about ideas of what to
write. I know…one track mind. Anyway, here is what my ‘uh huh’ moment was
about.
In my book about being a writer, I read an
interview that was done and the guy being interviewed said writers are
generally “selfish, moody, loners, messy, don’t care about clutter,
disorganized” and the list goes on. I stopped reading at this point because my
first thought was, I am NOT a writer! I was sick to my stomach at this thought,
because I am organized, neat freak, hate clutter, and I enjoy spending time
with people, unless I am on a deadline, then I shut out the world. I don’t
party, but I do spend time with friends and I love to cook so I don’t mind
having people over gives me an excuse to cook all kinds of yummy, healthy fun
foods. As for the moody part, does anyone want to be classed as moody? That is
where the creativity comes out right, because the imagination is always
working.
I was mixing up selfish with self focused and
self centered. Absolutely I am selfish; we all are as human beings. We are
selfish about our time, space, place, family, friends, cars, money, homes,
feelings, thoughts, spouses or partners, everything. But there is a big
difference between being selfish and being self focused or self centered, for
me anyways.
Let me share with you what I am thinking. Being
Selfish isn’t a good or bad thing; it is just a fact of nature. Look at the
lions in the wilds of Africa . They are very
selfish in their territorial space. The Black Vulture is very selfish and will
attack other vultures if they catch them philandering. That is purely
selfish, they don’t share their mates.
So with that said, being selfish is not a bad
thing. It is, when you put the emotion of being self focused and self centered into
it and then it becomes a problem. Self focused and self centered means that you
are the center of your own world and universe, that there is no room for anyone
else in your life. Being selfish means that you are guarded about what matters
the most to you. Your top priorities are what makes you selfish or even self
focused. Make a list of your priorities and see where you find yourself. I
personally did this and found that yes, I am selfish, my family will always
come first before me and before my friends, I am very selfish in my time with
my son and I make sure that I am able to focus on him when he is home with me.
I am selfish in what charities I donate to and I don’t go beyond my favorites.
I am selfish in not owning, wearing or carrying
anyone else’s problems, muck or personal issues. That is their ‘poop’ not mine,
they can deal with it. I refuse to take responsibility of what goes on in their
life or their priorities.
I just make sure that I don’t cross over to the
self focused side of the line and always make sure that my priorities are right
with my conscious and heart. So if you have been told that you are selfish,
stop and think about what they are really saying to you. Is it something that
needs to be fixed or changed in your priority list, or is it something that
needs to be explained better. Remember selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing
being self focused could be, you have to choose which path you want to walk and
then take the step.
Oh by the way, after my uh huh moment about
this, I realized that not all writers need to be like what this guy said,
therefore I choose to be a writer that is organized, clean freak, selfish,
happy, people lover and free of clutter. I personally think that writers have a
choice and he was just giving himself an excuse to be himself. It isn’t a bad
thing or a good thing. It just is. I am not going to own his opinion and you
certainly don’t have to own mine. That is the beauty of choice.
Until next time.
