The Attitude of Gratitude ~ Thank You Notes Even If It Doesn’t Work Out

Saying thank you for a job interview, a consideration for a job and even after applying for a job that you don’t get is one way of being brought to the forefront of that potential employer. But sending a thank you note or email is also common courtesy. We all have it in us to be polite, but how often do you actually send a note after the job application or when someone asks you to apply for a job and then you find out that you weren’t “the right fit”? We’ve been told that sending thank you notes after a job interview helps give us a better chance of getting the job. What about when someone suggests you apply for a job, or you put in a request for consideration? Have you considered a thank you note after these times?

Situations occur that make it is easy to give a thank you note or email, eg: when your client may have given someone a referral that gave you more business or a customer that has stayed with you, your service or company for a long period of time. With these situations you have a great reason for saying thank you.

With giving thanks for everything that happens in your life you are playing a hand that few seem to understand. That hand is called the “Gratitude Attitude”. What I want to write about are the times when things don’t work out; do you still send a thank you for the opportunity, chance, thought or even the consideration? Here are areas that we might not think about saying thank you as often as we maybe should.

You see the “Law of Attraction”, “Law of Nature”, “Natural Law of Energy” or whatever you call it, all comes down to: - what you put out there, you get out. It is a very simple law of the natural flow of things.  You put out good thoughts, karma, love, kindness, trust, positive energy…I could go on, but I think you get the point. If you put that out, it comes back to you. However, if you put out there negative thoughts, ideas, energy, feelings, etc, then guess what, it comes back to you. Now the kicker is, is that what you get back is 10% more than what you put out.

One thing I have learned being in the service business for so many years is that when you do the unexpected, like sending a thank you note to someone who has given you a referral that paid off, or to that potential employer even if you don’t get the job, they tend to spread the news of what a great person you are to deal with. It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day and to be honest; it doesn’t cost much in money, time or even thought process either, to send a note, card or email. Because in showing these different people that you understand their time is worth something makes your time invaluable.

I am signing off now with my own personal grateful Thank you. Thank you, for taking the time out of your day and reading what I write. I really do appreciate that you fel I am important enough to share your day with.

Until next time, have a grateful, productive week.

Understanding Selfish Versus Self Focused

I had an uh huh moment the other morning about what it is to be ‘selfish’ and ‘self focused’. It all started with reading another book about writing, writers and great at what I do. Yes, when I am not writing, I am reading about being a writer or thinking about ideas of what to write. I know…one track mind. Anyway, here is what my ‘uh huh’ moment was about. 

In my book about being a writer, I read an interview that was done and the guy being interviewed said writers are generally “selfish, moody, loners, messy, don’t care about clutter, disorganized” and the list goes on. I stopped reading at this point because my first thought was, I am NOT a writer! I was sick to my stomach at this thought, because I am organized, neat freak, hate clutter, and I enjoy spending time with people, unless I am on a deadline, then I shut out the world. I don’t party, but I do spend time with friends and I love to cook so I don’t mind having people over gives me an excuse to cook all kinds of yummy, healthy fun foods. As for the moody part, does anyone want to be classed as moody? That is where the creativity comes out right, because the imagination is always working.

I was mixing up selfish with self focused and self centered. Absolutely I am selfish; we all are as human beings. We are selfish about our time, space, place, family, friends, cars, money, homes, feelings, thoughts, spouses or partners, everything. But there is a big difference between being selfish and being self focused or self centered, for me anyways.

Let me share with you what I am thinking. Being Selfish isn’t a good or bad thing; it is just a fact of nature. Look at the lions in the wilds of Africa. They are very selfish in their territorial space. The Black Vulture is very selfish and will attack other vultures if they catch them philandering. That is purely selfish, they don’t share their mates.

So with that said, being selfish is not a bad thing. It is, when you put the emotion of being self focused and self centered into it and then it becomes a problem. Self focused and self centered means that you are the center of your own world and universe, that there is no room for anyone else in your life. Being selfish means that you are guarded about what matters the most to you. Your top priorities are what makes you selfish or even self focused. Make a list of your priorities and see where you find yourself. I personally did this and found that yes, I am selfish, my family will always come first before me and before my friends, I am very selfish in my time with my son and I make sure that I am able to focus on him when he is home with me. I am selfish in what charities I donate to and I don’t go beyond my favorites.

I am selfish in not owning, wearing or carrying anyone else’s problems, muck or personal issues. That is their ‘poop’ not mine, they can deal with it. I refuse to take responsibility of what goes on in their life or their priorities.

I just make sure that I don’t cross over to the self focused side of the line and always make sure that my priorities are right with my conscious and heart. So if you have been told that you are selfish, stop and think about what they are really saying to you. Is it something that needs to be fixed or changed in your priority list, or is it something that needs to be explained better. Remember selfish doesn’t have to be a bad thing being self focused could be, you have to choose which path you want to walk and then take the step.

Oh by the way, after my uh huh moment about this, I realized that not all writers need to be like what this guy said, therefore I choose to be a writer that is organized, clean freak, selfish, happy, people lover and free of clutter. I personally think that writers have a choice and he was just giving himself an excuse to be himself. It isn’t a bad thing or a good thing. It just is. I am not going to own his opinion and you certainly don’t have to own mine. That is the beauty of choice.

Until next time.

The Gratitude Attitude – Even if You Don’t See A Reason

Let’s face it there are times when you just don’t feel like being grateful, showing that you are blessed, or even see any silver lining around that dark cloud. Life just seems to bite you in the butt but good. How are you suppose to feel grateful for the loss of a close family member, your best friend, you not being able to pay your bills on time, or at all? You know you should find some reason to feel grateful and positive even if you have court coming up and you don’t know what the verdict will be. Truth is, it is very difficult to find that one spark of gratitude and positive thinking in any of these situations.

I have struggled with being grateful no matter what happened, because I know that if I am grateful, thankful and stay focused on the positive side of things then I can find the solution to just about anything that happens. However, if I get stuck in the muck of negative emotions then it just seems hopeless. Not to mention I am not a very nice person to be around when I am mucky and grrrr around the house.

When I lost custody of my son, I couldn’t figure out where to be thankful, grateful and positive. I just didn’t see any reason to have a grateful attitude and heart. My world had come crashing down around me, but then I started to see the change in my son’s attitude toward me. I saw how much he wanted to be with me, how he enjoyed spending as much time with me and how he was opening up to me and talking with me the older he got. We are closer in our bond as mother and son than I believed possible. He is growing into such an amazing independent thinking, fun person. For this I am grateful for. I might not be thankful for losing custody, but out of the situation I am finding what I need to help me continue to have a grateful attitude.

I am thankful for my ex because without him, no matter how horrible he was to me, or how bad the situation, I am thankful to have had him in my life. I have an amazing son because of him. If my ex hadn’t been in my life I would not be able to understand or help others that have gone through the same or similar situation as I have.  I can empathize and sympathize with them and give them the tools that are needed to heal and move past this because I am able to better understand.

The more grateful I am the happier I will be and with my attitude of gratitude is the feelings of being blessed and I am opening up myself to all the other blessings that are just waiting to be handed to me. Because I know that what I think about I bring about. I am the one with choices here in this life and I am going to consciously chose to be thankful and grateful for everything. Whether I determine something to be good or bad doesn’t make it so…This stuff just is, I am the one to attach the emotion to the situation, therefore I am going to just chose to find a reason to be grateful.

So take a moment today to count your blessings and name them one by one. Be grateful that you are a breathing, living soul that has a chance to help someone else going through what you have. Get that Gratitude Attitude working for you, you’ll be amazed at what you find in your life that you can call, Great!

Relationships for a Reason, Season or Forever – Where Do I Fit In

Have you ever thought seriously about that saying “People Come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime” and wondered where you fit? We as humans are mainly focused on ourselves in the relationship and never really think about how we fit with others or affect them. I know for me I don’t think about it too much…relationships are just that, right? Nothing more nothing less…

Now that I have your attention let’s see where this thought takes us, shall we? We are in all kinds of different relationships throughout our lives. We have our employers/employees, friendships, crushes, admiring from a far; face it these are relationships too on an energy level that reaches out and touches someone. There are also the spousal relationships, parents to kids, aunts, uncles, cousins, the list goes on and I am sure you get what I mean.

Reason for Relationship

We humans are a social species by nature. There are times when the relationships we are in either don’t work, change, grow or become stale and drift apart. Some friendships can be untouched for many years and then one day you find yourself thinking about that person and the next thing you know you either get a call, visit or letter from them and the friendship picks up right where you left off as if time stood still within it.

Relationships are a part of the energy that is in us, around us and we’re all connected to it. You may have sent out a prayer, thought or whatever into the universe for a need that you have and therefore the reason for the relationship you had, have or will have. Or perhaps that other person put it out there and you are their answer. This explains why we have some relationships that are here for just a little while, long time or forever.

Seasonal Relationship

When a relationship goes through changes and people drift apart that is usually known as the seasonal relationship. Where you and that other person needed something from each other, you needed to teach, learn, grow or share something of you with them and visa versa. It isn’t always about what that other person can do for you, but perhaps they needed something from you.  The seasonal relationship is about the joy and peace that you can get or give from the relationship. Be thankful for these ones, they can be very precious and memorable.

Lifetime Relationship

The lifetime relationship is about the lessons that you and/or they need to learn that takes a lifetime to be taught. Here you will discover what you need to do to have a solid emotional foundation to be a better person, more of what you were intended to be. Here is where you take what you have learned in this relationship and use it in all the other areas of your life and within all your other relationships throughout your life.

So…

Like energy, people will flow in and out of our lives because like energy we can’t hold on to them. They will slip through out fingers and we get disconnected. No one knows why this happens but it does.

There is a verse in Kenny Rogers’ song, “The Gambler” that makes me think about my relationships and where I fit in;

“…Know when to hold them, Know when to fold them, Know when to walk away, and know when to run…”

We all could take this verse and perhaps apply it to our lives when it comes to our relationships, especially in our marriages. This thought, I will leave for another article.

Personally I look forward to meeting new people, making new friends and learning more about myself through these relationships. I also enjoy spending time with my friends I have now. Whether I am in someone’s life for a day, a month, year or a lifetime, I hope that I leave a footprint of joy behind.