Red? A Memory From My Childhood

Here is a story of something I said when I was a child that has remained an inside joke in my family ever since.

A little background before I get into the story. I must have been about 5 years old when we moved to Peachland, BC. My dad had bought some property way out in the woods, with part of his inheritance and then built our little house on it. It was tiny, about 900 sq ft. There was one bathroom on the main floor under the stairs just off the living room that was also our dining room and opened into a tiny kitchen. The stairway up to the loft that was divided into two bedrooms, were we all slept, was just off the kitchen. At the top of the stairs there was a doorway on the right and one on the left. My parents slept in the room on the right overlooking the front of the house and driveway. My brother and I had to share the tiny room on the left that looked over the back of the property, brush and somewhere in the dense wood was the creek.

In the living room my dad put in a wood stove as our only source of heat. This is where the story takes place.

I was watching my dad assemble the wood stove and after he assembled it, he started painting the bolts so they would blend in and match the stove. Esthetically pleasing. Well, after I while I asked my dad, “what are you doing?” he said, “I am painting the bolts to match the rest of the stove”. I then said, “what color?”….he said, “black”…I said, “red?”

Yes, you have it, I loved hearing myself talk and didn’t listen too well as a child. So now we have a joke in the house whenever we say something silly without thinking we use “red?”

Looking Good Without Spending a Dime

Women are so conscious of how they look today. Not because they look bad but because they feel they have to keep up with what is socially acceptable beauty on TV, movies, reality shows, magazines and models. Sadly we all seem to have low self esteem when it comes to comparing what we look like to the celebrities. I admit it, I am one of those women, admiring others and seeing none of what they have in me.

I mentioned in my previous article, Feeling Good without Spending a Dime and loving the new you, that feeling good about yourself and liking the way you look goes hand in hand. You can't have one without the other, not really. You can fake it till you make it though, but it isn't the same.

Now that you have started your 15 minutes a day focused on your inner beauty and building your self-esteem, that I challenged you to do in my last article, are you ready to work on your outer self? Yes? Great! Let's get to it!

Look in your closet(s), drawers, boxes, bins, storage, etc. Go ahead be brave and dive in. Is there anything in there that you haven't worn in the past year or longer? Great! Give it away!!! I am sure you know a few little girls that would love it for playing dress up. You don't need that stuff, anymore! What you have left will be your favorites and things to wear on a special occasion. Organize them in colors, styles, most worn to least, in your closet; whatever it takes for you to see them quickly and efficiently. It will save you time and energy. You will feel better once it is done.

Do the same with your makeup; go through all of those drawers, cabinets, makeup bags, etc. You have a lot don't you? Yes, I thought so, now you have sorted out everything you don't wear...throw it out! Did you know that there is an expiry date for most makeup? Like mascara and foundations. That is why they get lumpy and hard to work with. Discard all the eye makeup that you have never worn or tried once but didn't like it on yourself. You will never wear it, it is just taking up space and cluttering your mind...yes, subconsciously you are aware of all the STUFF you hang on to. Even if you don't think you are...it isn't healthy; mentally, emotionally. Your spouse and family will thank you later for doing such a great job purging.

Next...jewelry; go through it all and after you have removed all the stuff you never wear or wouldn't be caught dead in, see what is of value, sell it. What isn't of value (costume jewelry that isn't good in today's styles) give that to your nieces, daughters, grand daughters, friends daughter, friends daughters friend, whatever, to play dress up with.

You are starting fresh here. You can't get a great look if you don't know what you have. Now that you have made room in every part of your personal space, de-cluttered as I like to think of it, you are ready for more fun. Isn't this fun? No?? You need a break, no worries, the hard stuff is over.

Now go shopping! No, no, no not at the store! I mean in your closet. I bet you find things in there that are great for mixing and matching. With all the fashion tips available online, in magazines, on TV, etc, you know you have great stuff already.

Ok, so you have done the hard stuff and got started on the fun part of your New Look. I have another challenge for you, I want you to go into your closet, makeup and hair style products and play "dress up". Remember what it was like when you were a little girl going into your mom's closet, your sister's closet or even in the trunk up in the attic where the old clothes were and you played dress up? Do you remember how much fun that was, you didn't care if a blouse was suppose to go with a certain skirt or pant. Or what colors went with what. I want you to dig deep into your inner self and find that little girl again and play dress up with your clothes. Be creative with what you find and enjoy experimenting with colors, makeup and hair styles. Find that hidden celebrity and star in you. She is just dying to come out and present the world the New You.

Have fun with this girl-friends!

Feeling Good Without Spending a Dime

I am sure you have a favorite celebrity that you admire. I know I do. I always thought it was just the way she looked, dressed, her hair was always perfect, not to mention her make up but I liked the way she walked and carried herself. I started learning more about her as a person, researching her and studying her. I finally figured out what it was that I liked, it was how she FELT about herself. She is not only confident but she was smart too. She is successful today because she believes in herself and it shows on the outside. I wanted that look that she had and so I decided what I had to do. It wasn't going to cost me anything to do what she did either. I had to clear out the crud, that thick black goo that seems to cling to everything, from my mind that affected my emotions.

You are sitting there saying "well, how do I do that?" You already know what to do but you aren't sure if you have enough umpf to put the effort in to do it, right? Only you can change you, if you want something bad enough you will put in the time and effort. To begin improving how we see ourselves on the outside, we need to look at our thinking and emotions. One thing that I have learned is that if I don't like what I look like, how I dress, or that I don't feel good about myself, it's probably because of what is going on in my head.

Many people, professionals, counselors, etc say that you have to change your inner world before you can change your outer world. I say "Yes and No" to this. You can't feel good about yourself until you feel good about what you look like and visa versa. I guess what I am saying is that it goes hand in hand. What kid show is it that has the song "You can't have one without the other..."? Sesame Street, I think...anyway, just got side track there for a minute. Where was I...Oh yes, hand in hand is how the feeling and looking good work for women.

I know that if my head is clear with a goal, plan or dream and I am focused on what I set out to do then the way I feel about myself, how I carry myself, dress, do my hair, whether I put makeup on or not, even down to what shoes I wear, heels or not, will reflect this. I feel more confident, successful, positive and seem to have the world in the palm of my hands.

However, if my head is full of that "crud" I mentioned earlier, then I feel just the opposite about myself and I find that my outer person reflex this. If I am not sure why I am going through this slump, I will do myself "up" on the outside anyways. I find sometimes, not all the time but sometimes, putting on my favorite pants, blouse, makeup, doing my hair, just the right jewelry accents and high heels, I feel better in my own head space. It helps to get me back in the game of success and positive energy.

If I find that this doesn't work then I know that I have something going on in my life that I need to de-clutter. Whether it is physically, personally, emotionally, mentally, or in a relationship way, I have to clean that black goo out of my mind to get back on track.

To de-clutter and feel good about you and love the new you, start with purging your mental, emotion and personal closet. I am going to challenge you to take 15 minutes a day, preferably first thing in the morning, for yourself. Focus on You. This could be a meditation, reading a positive affirming, motivation self help book, exercise, playing your favorite music, anything that will help you be in a better place in your mind. Do this for two weeks, see how you feel during that time. You will be able to face the rest of the day with more vigor, joy, hope and get a lot more done than you expected. Let me know how it goes.

In the next article I am going to help you look good without spending a dime. Like I said the feeling good and looking good go hand in hand. Have fun discovering the new you, girl-friends!

Being Your Own Boss - Remember the Reason, the Passion

Have you ever sat down ready to write and couldn’t figure out what to put down? So you start researching on the internet. Perhaps typed in “best topic to write about” or something like that? What if you already knew what you wanted to write about but the article you were asked to write isn’t on that topic?

Crunched for time? You have to get that article in before the deadline or you don’t get paid? Is the writing more about the pay or is about your passion, your desire to help others? Do you enjoy what you write about or are you writing what people tell you to write about because it’s more about the money?

Just like any other home-based business owner, you have bills to pay, worried about getting food on the table for your family, new shoes for your kid’s because they seem to have grown out of the other ones so fast. All these are genuine reasons for staying on topic, focused and dedicated to getting your work done, however these really shouldn’t be the most important reasons.

Why did you choose to write, work or become your own boss? Was it for the extra time that you were suppose to have with your family? The potential amount money you could bring in? The tax write offs? What really motivated you to take the step in working for yourself?

For me the reasons for being a full time freelance writer was so I could have more time with my family, be my own boss, set my own hours and because I love to write. However, somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my desires. I got so caught up in making sure that the money was coming in that I put my dreams on hold. I have been logical, rational and responsible. Uhhh yes, the virgo or if you will, the melancholy in me…responsible. It has been screaming at me to “go get a real job, bring in a regular pay cheque, and then work on my writing”. I struggle with this little voice of reason daily. I am sure that you do too, if you are reading this now. But I have to remember to keep that excitement and joy in seeing my dream and going after it, because if I lose it, then I am only a slave to a new boss, myself. Quite frankly she is tougher to work for than my last two bosses. My expectations from myself are way higher than I can possibly achieve, but I have to keep trying, cuz if I am not willing to strive, who else will?

Well, I can’t tell you that it get’s easier, or that it has paid off very well, yet; not listening to that voice in my head, or to what other people have to say about my career move. I do know that I have been able to pay the bills on time and regularly and I have enjoyed most of the writing projects so far. However, I need to keep in mind why I write. It’s because I am passionate about what I am saying and I want to help others.

You might have a different business, but we are all the same on the inside, in that we have a very valid reason for wanting to be entrepreneurs. Why not find out what that is for you again and get re-acquainted with that inner self that has a dream and passion for the choice you made and hush the voice of reason, because really what matters most is that as long as the bills are getting paid and you have a dream of where you want to be, you will get there and you will be great!

It isn’t the destination that matters but the journey you are on…enjoy the trip because in the end you are going to look back and say “It was so worth it!”

Until next time, have a prosperous and successful week.

Attitude - Your Attitude Precisely

Attitude, it always comes back to attitude. Your attitude more precisely. How you respond to any situation, person or thing that happens to you, around you or to someone that you care about. The emotion attached to what you want, don’t want, do or don’t do, is in direct proportion to your attitude. I never really understood this until recently. Let me explain what I am thinking.

You can have the most positive attitude in the worst situation you find yourself in and yet if you are ‘feeling’ any negative emotions that positive attitude isn’t really going last long. You have to take baby steps in getting your emotions to be positive enough that the attitude is in sync with your emotional energy.

We are all energy beings. Science has shown that our bodies are made up of molecules, atoms and so on that creates our physical being. What is energy? Same thing…molecules, atoms and such. So we are energy beings, plain and simple. The world around us is made of the same stuff we are, that is why our environment is affected by us and visa versa. With that thought in mind, why would we want to allow ourselves to have negative emotions, feelings or thoughts? We would put it out there in attitude which would infect everyone and thing around us.

I got thinking about this this morning and realized that even when I have a great attitude about my life, I wanted to make sure that my emotions where on the same page. Most of the time it isn’t hard to have this happen, but like I mentioned earlier, if you are experiencing a bad situation and try to keep the positive attitude going but your heart isn’t in it or your emotions aren’t matched to it then eventually the attitude will fade to bring out the truth.

Your attitude will either infect or affect others around you but that is because the emotions you are experiencing will radiate out. Why not make the choice of focusing on positive emotions and a great attitude. I am not saying “fake it till you make it”. It takes work but you are worth the effort and you will love your life for it because you cared enough to do it.

I heard someone say once “Get rid of the crud, because it keeps you from getting where you want to go”. He is right, by releasing the swamp water, crud or whatever you want to call it that affects your attitude and with a great attitude and positive emotions in the center of you, you will not only feel better but it will be passed on for others to experience. Like the stone tossed into the water creating a continuous ripple affect.

Here is to your positive emotions and great attitude!

Getting Lost – That’s When You Will Find Yourself – the True Self

When you are young you have so many dreams, aspirations and desires. As you grow up, older and wiser you start to narrow down those dreams and ideas to what you feel is your calling, your career, or what is needed. But have you noticed that as time goes on you find yourself not sure? Or possible over the next 20, 30, or 40 years since you first left home, changing those ideas and careers a few times? Not because you couldn’t do the job, live in that house or town or from boredom, but because it was like going to the store and buy a pair of shoes that you thought you would love, they were comfortable and you took them home only to find out that they don’t go with anything you have in your closet?

There is a great movie that came out back in 1986, Short Circuit, where the robot, Johnny 5, in a bizarre and funny way discovered his humanity. He also found that he loved learning and hating killing or destroying things and so he got out of his “box”, the lab at the military base, to seek out another way of life. Throughout the movie Johnny 5 would say “Need input, more input!” He loved learning and expanding his comfort zone, or stretching his bubble bigger and bigger.

How many times have you got up in the morning, got ready for your day and thought “Why am I here?” “Why am I going to a job that I don’t enjoy going to?” “What is the purpose of all this?” or something along those lines. Well, that is when you need to step out of your comfort zone and get lost…yup I mean that in the nicest, most loving, supportive way possible. Get lost! Go out and explore! Find out what really challenges you and what puts that sparkle back in your eye and a dance in your step. Ok, so the sayings I am using are old and corny, but let’s face it, if you really loved what you were doing, you would already be there…dancing, laughing, energized to go about your day.

I am not saying, run away from your problems, quit your job, or leave your family…I am saying emotionally, mentally and maybe if you have too, go out and get lost! In your town, city or mall. Just go and think outside the box to find out what it is that calls to you. Look around as if you were a new person in this place; see it for the first time. How do you feel in this place you call home? Your work? Dig deep and figure out what it is you want to do. I know it is possible to be here, in this place and still get lost and rediscover your home, family and town. It feels pretty amazing to take off the blinders and look around as if it were the first time and see what others are seeing.

How about doing that with yourself personally, too. Have you ever considered dancing? Taking up a hobby like painting, singing or maybe even a class about stock trading? I don’t know what your personality is but for me, learning is something I love doing. I have come to appreciate how much I enjoy learning about everything. I am good at a couple things and terrible at other things, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to learn more.

What about you? You ready to go out, get lost and find yourself where you were lost? I hope to see you along the way, lost and happy because you have found your true self.

The Attitude of Gratitude ~ Thank You Notes Even If It Doesn’t Work Out

Saying thank you for a job interview, a consideration for a job and even after applying for a job that you don’t get is one way of being brought to the forefront of that potential employer. But sending a thank you note or email is also common courtesy. We all have it in us to be polite, but how often do you actually send a note after the job application or when someone asks you to apply for a job and then you find out that you weren’t “the right fit”? We’ve been told that sending thank you notes after a job interview helps give us a better chance of getting the job. What about when someone suggests you apply for a job, or you put in a request for consideration? Have you considered a thank you note after these times?

Situations occur that make it is easy to give a thank you note or email, eg: when your client may have given someone a referral that gave you more business or a customer that has stayed with you, your service or company for a long period of time. With these situations you have a great reason for saying thank you.

With giving thanks for everything that happens in your life you are playing a hand that few seem to understand. That hand is called the “Gratitude Attitude”. What I want to write about are the times when things don’t work out; do you still send a thank you for the opportunity, chance, thought or even the consideration? Here are areas that we might not think about saying thank you as often as we maybe should.

You see the “Law of Attraction”, “Law of Nature”, “Natural Law of Energy” or whatever you call it, all comes down to: - what you put out there, you get out. It is a very simple law of the natural flow of things.  You put out good thoughts, karma, love, kindness, trust, positive energy…I could go on, but I think you get the point. If you put that out, it comes back to you. However, if you put out there negative thoughts, ideas, energy, feelings, etc, then guess what, it comes back to you. Now the kicker is, is that what you get back is 10% more than what you put out.

One thing I have learned being in the service business for so many years is that when you do the unexpected, like sending a thank you note to someone who has given you a referral that paid off, or to that potential employer even if you don’t get the job, they tend to spread the news of what a great person you are to deal with. It doesn’t take much to make someone’s day and to be honest; it doesn’t cost much in money, time or even thought process either, to send a note, card or email. Because in showing these different people that you understand their time is worth something makes your time invaluable.

I am signing off now with my own personal grateful Thank you. Thank you, for taking the time out of your day and reading what I write. I really do appreciate that you fel I am important enough to share your day with.

Until next time, have a grateful, productive week.