Being a Financially Independent Woman and Married

I wrote this article back in 2008 when I was in my third marriage…yes; I admit I have been married three times. I'm no longer married and am happily single, however I re read this article and find that there are some sound advice for both married and women thinking of getting married, in it. I hope you enjoy it.

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The first time, I was young and foolishly thought I could change him. The second time, well we all know how that one turned out. I am now married for the third time…however, what I have been doing in this marriage is what I didn’t do in the first two marriages. I am not talking about not trying to change the guy, not trying to be someone I am not, or making a perfect marriage out of nothing at all. No, I am talking about my finances. I take care of myself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, but I never thought I had to take care of myself financially until now. I should have realized just how huge an impact it is mentally, emotionally and physically when I am left with nothing.

Being married doesn’t mean you have to be totally dependant on the man to provide for you. Just because you are married shouldn’t mean that you lose yourself in your man and his life. You still are a human being, an individual and you have your own two feet to stand on (figuratively speaking) as well as your own hands and backbone to do what needs to be done. Your husband or partner isn’t there for you to ride on.

Here is an example of what I am talking about. When you watch those guys on the unicycle in the circus, they can do some pretty amazing things right, especially up on a high wire. But when you add two people to that single wheel, things get pretty intense and while you watch them on that unicycle you find you hold your breath a lot. What about when you add three people to that one wheeled vehicle? Really gets scary right? I know I have seen those circus people get up to 5 people on one tiny little wheel. Not for me thanks. I prefer 4 wheels and a running board. You have a good, sturdy car with 4 wheels on the ground; it’s solid and safe for more than just one person to be in, right?

Well, why would it be any different for a marriage and finances? It doesn’t matter where you live in the world, why would you put all your trust on a one wheeled vehicle, namely your husband’s financial wheel? What if something happened to him? What if something happened to the money he brought in? Look at the way this economy is going? Wonder why it’s not as good as people keep wishing it to be? That is a story for another time; but just understand that you don’t have to be stuck on that unicycle with your husband. Grab a wheel, stretch out of your comfort zone and get financially independent. It will not only help you in the long run, but think of the benefits of earning an income for yourself, having investments and working as a ‘team’ WITH your husband rather than expecting him to have it all while you sit in the dark.

When you are financially independent it isn’t saying you are expecting the worst of the marriage, you are just making sure that it is on equal terms so that you can work towards having an awesome marriage. You would be surprised at how many men actually love knowing that their wives don’t ‘need’ them financially and feel more secure knowing that if anything was to happen to them that their wives were very well taken care of and strong enough to get through anything. I have also been told that when they see their wives financially independent they (the husbands) feel like a huge weight lifted off their shoulders and they don’t have this ‘thing’ hanging over their heads. They WANT to create a cashflow rather than HAVE to create one.

There are poems, stories, sayings about how strong women are and yet soft on the inside. Why not use that to our benefit financially? We are great at multi-tasking and taking care of others, so why not take care of ourselves too? We would most certainly sleep better knowing the bills were paid, savings account was in the black, kids were well taken care of, what our investments were doing, etc because we are involved in the creation of these things.

The next time you see an opportunity to help you get financially independent don’t be afraid to take the chance…grab that opportunity; it could be the best thing you ever did for yourself and your family.

Until next time, have a blessed and prosperous week.